You think?

From the front page of My Yahoo:


Sexual abuse caused indescribable pain: Pope


In other news: No Fucking Shit Dickwipe.

Don't get me started on the Catholics.

I was one until I finally was out of my parents' house and allowed to think for myself. Now, I'm just pissed off all the time.

I think I received communion, in my life, from at least 4 priests who were brought up on charges. How many do I not know about? And, never once, did any of them try to touch my dick. I'm pissed off.

Look who's next.

Remember Rosemary's Baby?

I'm just saying.

I think when someone told him scientology was full of dopes, he misunderstood.

To add further credibility to the cultish pyramid scheme religion, the newest prospect into the kooky scientology fold is none other than upstanding citizen and all around hygienic guy Pete Doherty. You know, the same stupid fuck that blew crack smoke at his cat to get it high? Yeah, that guy.

This should be AWESOME publicity for the scientologists. I mean, the church is already packed to the gills with closeted homos, so let's just start adding useless junkies to the mix as well! Maybe if they're really nice to her, Amy Winehouse will be next in line.
Or Steve-O!!

Come to Church; learn how to think

Today, someone put a little note in our door inviting us to go to some new Baptist Church for Easter.

Naturally, this church has a website. On the website, you can learn great things. I won't even dignify them with a link, but they offer points on how to vote if you're a good Christian, explanations of why homosexuals are evil, explanations of why Christians are right and everyone else is wrong, etc.

Fantastic stuff, all of it.

I believe that everyone should vote. It's your civic duty and all. But, I'm reconsidering.

If you need to listen to your preacher to determine who to vote for, you may have to lose your right to vote. You also should lose your right to reproduce. Is thinking for oneself so difficult of a thing to do? For many of my neighbors, it apparently is.

I wish I had more to say, but I have to go read "Thirty-Five things worth knowing about the Bible"

#15 - Homos and Jews are evil. So are them Muslims. Catholics are kinda evil too.

Et tu, Oprah?

So it seems Oprah's production company has given Kirstie Alley a deal to produce a television series - presumably a talk show, because foisting Rachael fucking Ray and that bloated blowhard Dr. Phil JUST WASN'T ENOUGH.

Now, we know scientologists only align themselves with people that a) are fellow scientology nutjobs, or b) they're trying to enlist into their brainwashing pyramid scheme religion. I assume Oprah worships herself WAY TOO MUCH to ever join some stupid group where she has to bow at the feet of someone else, let alone a failed science fiction writer. So I have no choice but to assume that Oprah really must like her and think she'll succeed. I think Kirstie will have that show filled with her cult-y subliminal messages, and Oprah will boot her ass out the door and back to the Celebrity Centre. Or maybe Oprah's ready to jump on board with Kirstie's new weight loss program that she's coming up with. Because, you know, she did so good on Jenny Craig.

Is Will Smith the new Tom Cruise?

Amid rampant speculation that Will Smith has gone completely wacko and become a scientologist, he's made a comment: "You don't have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don't have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don't have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise." Which would very well be true if you didn't give the crew of your last (crappy) film cards for free scientology profiles as a wrap gift. (And what kind of cheap ass motherfucker gives that to the crew that's doing the actual work while you sit in your trailer jerking off to Top Gun all day? ASSHOLE.)